(...yes, there is a difference) Jesus went to the Mount of Olives. But early in the morning he went back to the Temple, and all the people came to him, and he sat and taught them. The teachers of the law and the Pharisees brought a woman who had been caught in adultery. They forced her to stand before the people. They said to Jesus, 'Teacher, this woman was caught having s*xual relations with a man who is not her husband. The law of Moses commands that we stone to death every woman who does this. What do you say we should do?' They were asking this to trick Jesus so that they could have some charge against him. But Jesus bent over and started writing on the ground with his finger. When they continued to ask Jesus their question, he raised up and said, 'Anyone here who has never sinned can throw the first stone at her.' Then Jesus bent over again and wrote on the ground.
Those who heard Jesus began to leave one by one, first the older men and then the others. Jesus was left there alone with the woman standing before him. Jesus raised up again and asked her, 'Woman, where are they? Has no one judged you guilty?'
She answered, 'No one, sir.'
Then Jesus said, 'I also don't judge you guilty. You may go now, but don't sin anymore.'---John 8:1-11 (NCV)
In each human's mind, a 'sin' is seen as whatever they don't do.---Shellie R. Warren
Accountable: subject to the obligation to report, explain, or justify something; responsible; answerable; capable of being explained
Synonyms: decipherable, liable, obligated, responsible
Critical: inclined to find fault or to judge with severity, often too readily; occupied with or skilled in criticism; judicial
Synonyms: analytical, belittling, condemning, cutting, cynical, demanding, demeaning, derogatory, disapproving, discerning, finicky, fussy, hairsplitting, hypercritical, humbling, lowering, nagging, nit-picking, particular, reproachful, sarcastic, scolding, severe
Uh-oh. Yep, it's been awhile. You ready? I certainly hope so.
So, before I begin, I want to use this time to extend a formal welcome, thank you and you are so loved by me and God to all of my new spiritual daughters (Isaiah 54) that I met while speaking in Maryland weekend before last. I have gotten ALL of your emails. Please be patient (I Corinthians 13:4) with me. I will get to all of them, but a part of what I do is write for a living and so you can only imagine what my inbox looks like on a daily basis! In the meantime, know that NO MATTER WHAT HAS HAPPENED TO YOU OR WHAT YOU HAVE DONE, in God's eyes you are fearfully and wonderfully made. (Psalm 139:14) I know from personal experience that it's when I lose sight of that, that I lose sight of self and find myself lost.
Now, on to the message for today.
Someone once said, Those who can't, judge. I guess on some levels, this statement would best apply when it comes to the media. I first got into newspaper journalism by writing critiques on people's album releases and doing concert reviews. Oh, it's SO EASY to pen 300-500 words on how much you don't like someone's art...but ask the same person to sing, to spit spoken word, to create a design, to paint a picture or participating in a play or dance recital and I'm willing to bet that 95% of them, well us, would cringe somewhere in a corner. That said, before I continue, if you are in the creative field, I want to include an excerpt from the same book that I got that wonderful insight on forgiveness awhile back from (Creativity: Unleashing the Forces Within by Osho):
A creator has to be able to look foolish. A creator has to risk his so-called respectability. That's why you always see that poets, painters, dancers, musicians are not respectable people. And, when they become respectable, when a Noble prize is given to them, they are no longer creative. From that moment, creativity disappears.
What happens? Have you ever seen a Noble prize winner writing another thing that is of any value? Have you ever seen any respectable person doing something creative? He becomes afraid. If he does something wrong, or if something goes wrong, what will happen to his prestige? He cannot afford that. So when an artist becomes respectable he becomes dead.
Only those who are ready to put their prestige, their pride, their respectability at stake again and again, can go into something that nobody thinks is worth going into...Creators are always thought to be mad people. The world recognizes them, but very late. It goes on thinking that something is wrong. Creators are eccentric people.
And remember again, each child is born with all the capacities to become a creator. Without any exception all children try to be creators, but we don't allow them. Immediately we start teaching them the right way to do a thing---and once they learn the right way to do a thing, they become robots. They go on doing the right thing again and again and again, and the more they do it, the more efficient they become. And the more efficient they become, the more respected they are.---Creativity: Unleashing the Forces Within, Four Keys, pg. 110-111
Now, when it comes to the children part, please keep it in context. Proverbs 22:15 (NKJV) says, Foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child; the rod of correction will drive it far from him. The principles that God gives mankind must be taught to children from the day they enter into this world. But when the Bible instructs us to train a child up in the way he should go (Proverbs 22:6), I fear that far too many parents assume that means their offspring should be going in the direction they want and not necessarily on the path that God leads. (Proverbs 3:6) YOU want him to be a doctor. YOU want her to take piano. YOU want them to go to softball practice. Like any relationship, interacting with a child ain't just about YOU. Shoot, after just spending a week with four of my love nieces (all under the age of 3), if there's anything I've learned is that there is, or at least should be, nothing more humbling than raising a child because if there were ever a time that you and God should be speaking on a moment-by-moment basis, it would be then!
God calls us his children (John 1:12) and yet, not all of us are lawyers, accountants or CEOs of corporations. He loves us all the same (Acts 10:34) and now matter how YOU may see it, you can best believe that the Master Creator (Genesis 1:1) has MAD APPRECIATION for creative people, especially those who are willing to fully walk out in their creativity. I mean, talk about some folk who are called to be in the world but not of it. (John 17:14) If God gave you a creative gift, USE IT (Romans 11:29) and don't be afraid to make a living from it. When the Word says that the laborer is worthy of his hire (I Timothy 5:18), that applies to people who live off of their craft(s) as well.
OK, moving on.
So, where am I going with this? Well, like I said, before I started making a living off of using my own gift(s), I used to spend my time being a critic when it came to others. Professionally, I don't think there is necessarily anything wrong with that. I have friends who've received Doves and Grammys because of critics, but what I am saying is that putting yourself in the critic seat can be a slippery slope. If you're not careful, you can find yourself becoming the very not-so-flattering definitions of the word, critical.
Why can't she sing better? My drunk uncle on a bad day can do better.
Why did he use that pattern for that dress? It looks like my grandmother's couch.
Why do they have books out? I don't even like their writing style.
Newsflash: When you read these devotionals, I'm sure there are more times than not when you catch errors. I have a gift from God of writing. Editing? Eh, not so much. Even in high school, I wasn't much of a drafter. Once I wrote it, that was pretty much a rap.
But you see, these days, I purposely don't spend a lot of time going over these. There is a free-spirited side of me, but there is also an over-analytical one who, if I let it, would obsess over these to the point that they would never get out. And really, who would benefit from that? YOU CAN'T BE SO SCARED OF MAKING A MISTAKE THAT YOU NEVER DO ANYTHING. I John 4:18 says that perfect love casts out ALL fear, but have you ever finished reading that verse? It says that love casts out fear because fear involves torment (something that causes great bodily or mental pain or suffering). There are some people I never hear a word from unless it's to tell me that these are too long or a misspelled a word. Ask these same people if they would be willing to get up at 4am to write 3,000+ words and they will immediately find some justification for why that isn't possible. I am preaching to the choir when I say that when critiquing, we must always keep in mind that gifts, ALL GIFTS, come from God. We can always help someone do something better, but that, and not our overinflated egos and judgmental nature, should be the motivation in all that we do...and say...and critique.
Which brings me to the main point for today. The truth (John 8:32) is that some people judge art, while others simply judge people: their actions, their words, their decisions, their appearance...you name it. However, I think the reason why the Holy Spirit led me to pen this message (Luke 12:12) is because many of us do it believing that it's because we are holding people accountable when actually, that is not what we are doing at all. (Again, soooooo preaching to the choir!) So that we're all clear, let's spend a second on the word, account (in the context of this devotional), first:
Account: an explanatory statement of conduct, as to a superior; a statement of reasons, causes, etc., explaining some event; reason; basis
Now, let's see what the Word says about this word:
That which is has already been, And what is to be has already been; and God requires an account of what is past.---Ecclesiastes 3:15 (NKJV)
So then each of us shall give account of himself to God.---Romans 14:12 (NKJV)
And there is no creature hidden from His sight, but all things are naked and open to the eyes of Him to whom we must give account.---Hebrews 4:13 (NKJV)
Obey those who rule over you, and be submissive, for they watch out for your souls, as those who must give account. Let them do so with joy and not with grief, for that would be unprofitable for you.---Hebrews 13:17 (NKJV)
They will give an account to Him who is ready to judge the living and the dead.---I Peter 4:5 (NKJV)
OK, now when I looked in the New King James Version, in this context, this was all that I saw. Did you catch what I did? That other than in reference to priests (Hebrews 4:13), the only being who is referenced as needing to be given an account is God? Yet, there is an entire Christian movement on this one thing: people holding people accountable.
I need to know where you are going tonight so that I can hold you accountable.
Are you wearing that? I'm just asking because I am holding you accountable.
What are you doing that for? I'm just trying to hold you accountable.
Yes, yes...oh, but there is such a fine line between accountability and meddling and I tell you what, the Bible is very clear on what it thinks about the latter:
But we urge you, brethren, that you increase more and more; that you also aspire to lead a quiet life, to mind your own business, and to work with your own hands, as we commanded you, that you may walk properly toward those who are outside, and that you may lack nothing.---I Thessalonians 4:10-12 (NKJV)
Just last week, I was watching Tavis Smiley on C-Span. He was talking about the criticism that he received for questioning some things about our new President, Barack Obama. I didn't agree with everything he said (nor did I have to or do I think he expected those listening to), but one thing he did say resonated with me: If you are the people's President, that means you are my President and I have the right to ask you questions that will directly affect MY life.
A couple of nights ago, I had a several-hour conversation with one of my friends about this very thing. We talked about how people in leadership positions, both politically and in the Church, are being held accountable, if they are exercising wise judgment in who and how they hold others accountable and how it should be handled when they do make mistakes (AS ALL HUMANS DO---I John 1:10).
Now my friend is pretty brilliant, but I could tell that one thing which semi-stumped him was that we as humans seem to be so quick to sit a pastor down (and they often seem just as eager to sit someone else down), but the motive/purpose is often gray rather than black-and-white. Sin is sin. There are TEN commandments. The Bible says that if you break one, you are guilty of breaking them all. (Matthew 5:19) The majority of the Christian faith doesn't honor the Seventh-Day Sabbath (Exodus 20:8-11, Hebrews 4) and yet let someone commit adultery (Exodus 20:14) and it's on and poppin'! The 10th Commandment (Exodus 20:17) instructs us not to want what someone else has and yet I have heard umpteen sermons on If I got it, God can give it to you, too (Uh, he can [Luke 1:37], but that doesn't necessarily mean he will, so this methodology can set people up for continuing to want something that he may never grant them); however, if someone doesn't tithe (NOT a commandment by the way [Malachi 3:6-12], and ironically an Old Testament principle that people keep unlike many others that are just as spiritually/physically profitable), they are in jeopardy of losing their leadership position(s).
Hmm...perhaps that's why the Word doesn't really speak on men (other than priests who enter a whole 'nother level of accountability with God) holding other men accountable. It's because we are not fair, accurate, consistent or just judges. We see what we want to see and overlook what we don't; we judge what we tend to not do and give a pass to the things that we do.
So does that mean that if we see someone erring in their ways that we sit and do nothing? No. That would be going to the other extreme. The Bible is pretty thorough on what our approach should be towards believers who are going against godly (that would mean BIBLICAL) principles:
Moreover if your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault between you and him alone. If he hears you, you have gained your brother. But if he will not hear, take with you one or two more, that by the mouth of two or three witnesses every word may be established. And if he refuses to hear them, tell it to the church. But if he refuses even to hear the church, let him be to you like a heathen and a tax collector.---Matthew 18:15-17 (NKJV)
Now, let me share with you a mistake that until just a few months ago, I would make pretty often (which means it wasn't really a mistake...more like a rebellious spirit). If someone sinned against me, I would take this scripture in reverse. First of all, I didn't always discern (Ecclesiastes 8:5) if the person was a brother or not (going to church doesn't automatically make you are believer or brother---whole 'nother message) and the truth is that if you don't acknowledge God's principles, you probably won't abide by them. I'm saying that to say that if you go into something with someone looking at the fruit (or lack thereof) first, a lot of the results that you get shouldn't affect you in the way that they tend to. (Matthew 12:33)
But, when a believer (John 8:31) would hurt/offend me, I would often go to them last. That is not what Christ instructed. He said that we are to go to them FIRST and not only first but ALONE. Why? Because if you are a follower of Christ, love should always be your motivation in all that you do and the Word says that love covers sin (Proverbs 10:12) and those who cover transgressions do it to seek love (Proverbs 17:9). I have had to repent (often) because in not doing this, I have had to admit/accept that restoring love was not often my motive in addressing the pain; receiving validation was. And see, here's another thing: James 1:22 admonishes us to not only be hearers of the Word, but doers as well. However, Christ did not say in Matthew that if the person who harmed you doesn't do something in response to sinning against you that you should take it to the masses. It says if he doesn't HEAR you. When someone hears you that means they become informed, they listen, they give attention to a particular matter. But, you must give some time (and patience and compassion) for what they heard to take root before an action can occur. (Acts 1:7---Message) Other people are brought in when the offender ignores you because without that seed of correction, there can be no harvest of redirection. Whether it's from the pulpit or the pews, I fear that far too many times more (masses of) people are brought into matters than they should because those in leadership and submission roles don't abide by this CHRIST-SPOKEN instruction.
How else does the Word say we are to address a brother when it comes to sin?
Then Peter came to Him and said, 'Lord, how often shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? Up to seven times?'
Jesus said to him, 'I do not say to you, up to seven times, but up to seventy times seven.'---Matthew 18:21-22 (NKJV)
I got a revelation last year that if I am in the position with someone where I have to forgive them 490 times for the same thing then we both have issues because I am not learning from the past experiences, either. But just now, I got another one. Last year, while in my prayer time about my future mate, I heard in my spirit, I mean, Shellie, if you want to be with a woman, you need to become a lesbian. MEN ARE NOT WOMEN and I didn't create them to be that way so stop trying to make them be. You wanna get freed up in your relationships with folk? If you want to be around perfect people, you need to not only be alone, but ask God to put you to sleep (Ecclesiastes 9:5) now because no one, including you, is that. If you are going to be in relationships with people, mistakes (and many of them) are going to be made. Get over it so you can get through it.
It would be better for him if a millstone were hung around his neck, and he were thrown into the sea, than that he should offend one of these little ones. Take heed to yourselves. If your brother sins against you, rebuke him; and if he repents, forgive him. And if he sins against you seven times in a day, and seven times in a day returns to you, saying, I repent, you shall forgive him.---Luke 17:2-4 (NKJV)
You see what it says about offending (to irritate, annoy, or anger; cause resentful displeasure in; to violate or transgress; to hurt or cause pain to; to cause to fall into sin) the children, right? Moving on...according to these verses, even if someone offends you many times in one day, forgive him. At the very least so that you can be forgiven (Luke 6:37)...uh...of the many offenses you have done to God...in one day.
If anyone sees a brother or sister sinning (sin that does not lead to eternal death), that person should pray, and God will give the sinner life. I am talking about people whose sin does not lead to eternal death. There is sin that leads to death. I do not mean that a person should pray about that sin.---I John 5:16 (NCV)
This is the one I think we perhaps miss most of all. This is the one time where it speaks on how to react to seeing someone sin rather than how to deal with someone who has sinned against you (hope you caught that there is indeed a difference in how God wants us to handle both matters). If you do see someone sinning, before you start meddling, before you start rebuking, before you start denouncing and publicizing, you should start praying. Prayer, for one, humbles us to accept that more times than not, we don't have the answers on how to handle situations. GOD DOES. Another thing that prayer does is put us on purpose. My mother often used to say that you don't have to tell people everything. You can tell God and let him translate. IT MAY NOT BE UP TO YOU TO ADDRESS SOMEONE ABOUT THEIR SIN. God may have allowed you to see it because he thought you would be the right one the intercede on their behalf (an honor within itself) or to teach you something about your own flesh fetishes, but no where in the Word are we told to pray (make a petition) to people. We are to pray to the creator of them. You see something, until God instructs otherwise, PRAY on it....don't PREY on them!
You see, when it comes to accountability, we have to be very careful about putting ourselves in situations where we demand reports, explanations or justifications. If it is something that is none of your business, if it's not a sin against you PERSONALLY, then people don't owe you an account. They owe God. If they did sin against you, it's actually you who is supposed to do something: let them know and forgive them. Yes, there is a time for rebuking (to express sharp, stern disapproval of; reprove; reprimand), but you don't need to be all up in their Kool-Aid to do that. If you see it and it's wrong, tell them and move on prayerfully and quietly. If you witness a sin that affects a mass of people (comes with leadership...to whom much is given---Luke 12:48), still go in prayer, first. The covering (not sneaking, but covering) of love applies to them as well. Humiliation is usually a last resort with God and still it's used as a means to bring about humility.
How do I know? The lead scripture proves it. When the woman was caught in adultery, there was no way around the fact that what she did was wrong; however, Christ did not address her, but the people, THE PHARISEES who, as I'm sure they thought, were holding her accountable. Forcing her into the public eye, wanting to condemn her unto death, judging her as if they had no sins...these were not the ways Christ thought the matter should be handled. He without sin cast the first stone, right? That's not a scapegoat approach to humanity, it's just the reality of it. (Ecclesiastes 7:18---Message) I was tickled last week when a certain disgruntled rapper, in response to some poor press she received issued a statement that she was about to tell her side of the story. The people who put her on front street immediately called for a lunch with her to discuss it. Yeah, I think if we all took into account that before we pull out someone else's junk drawer, we should clean out our own (Matthew 7:3-5), we'd definitely be more responsible and less critical.
Which brings me to the last point of the day.
The thing that I have really had to go to God about is learning the difference between sin and preference.
I don't like the way you dress? If it's modest (I Timothy 2:9), you have committed no sin.
I don't understand how you live your life? If you're a non-believer, the best thing I can do is be a witness. (Proverbs 14:25). If you are, if what you do, from what I see, is in accordance with God's laws (Exodus 20) AND it's not causing a sin against me, I can pray on it but it's really none of my concern.
I don't like you, what you do, how you do it and so I take it upon myself to be your critic? Well, I will just speak to the fact that often in the way I have judged people, I have been judged. It's easy to make fun of a performance until you have to get in front of thousands. It's easy to nit-pick at someone's abilities until you are expected to do them. It's easy to be on the not liking side until it's thrown back at your face and you become the underdog.
Dale Carnegie once said, Any fool can criticize, condemn and complain, but it takes character and self-control to be understanding and forgiving.
Abraham Lincoln has been quoted as saying, He has the right to criticize who has the heart to help.
And one of my all-time favorites (on this topic) is by Mark Twain: One mustn't criticize other people on grounds where he can't stand perpendicular himself.
You mad because someone is s*xually faithful to their mate? Are you being s*xually faithful to yours? (If you're single that means not having it, if you're married that means having it.---I Corinthians 7)
You disgusted because someone doesn't pay you on time? What would you credit report reveal about your spending habits?
Can't stand hypocrites? So, I guess that means that you always say what you mean and mean what you say, huh?
The thing about being a critic in a newspaper was that I got hired to do so. And to be honest with you, the more self-assured I become, the less I am attracted to doing it. But see, in life, NONE OF US are hired by God to be critics of other people. He doesn't bless us for nagging...belittling...condemning...hairsplitting or scolding, so why do it? Someone once said that if it doesn't make money, it doesn't make sense. In the spirit realm, when it comes to gaining the promises of God, we could stand to apply this same way of thinking. If it doesn't benefit us to be critical of others, really, why do it?
I would hate to look back over my life, one that seems to be moving faster with every birthday, and realize that I spent a high percentage of it disapproving things that, at the end of the day, really don't matter one way or another. I don't like it? I don't have to. More times than not, it's not a heaven or hell issue and so I need to move on...to discovering the things that are.
Have you ever sat and watched a Hollywood fashion critique program after an awards show? Is it just me or do most of the judges look just as tacky as they claim the artists do, and is it also just me, but does it seem like the way that they critique them is more with a tinge jealously than constructive insight? Even if they have a point on the outfit, sometimes it seems like they are actually more disgruntled with the people getting to where they could be to rock it in the first place.
If I put my soul in this same 360 degree mirror, I would have to say that many times, I come across the same way as they do. God has given me more than enough---mind, body and spirit, to handle. At least if (big if) I don't like my body and I exercise, it benefits me. At least if I don't like my writing style and I take a writing class, it benefits me. At least if I am dissatisfied with my walk with God and I pray and study, it benefits me. I'm not getting anything out of being a hater on others.
Well, other than misrepresenting God and ostracizing others. And I don't know about you, but I would hate to have to give an ACCOUNT to God (again) for that.
...it's so not worth it....it makes no sense.
Shellie R. Warren/2008
www.myspace.com/missnosipho The greater the ignorance, the greater the dogmatism."-Sir William Osler
"You can't have everything. Where would you put it?"-Steven Wright
"To try to be better is to be better."-Charlotte Cushman
Posted By: The SISTAHS Ministry
Wednesday, January 21st 2009 at 12:37PM
You can also
click
here to view all posts by this author...
