Starting Over After Divorce
I recently shared with a friend on how I was able to move past my divorce and begin living the life I was/am purposed to live. After my divorce, I remember feeling helpless and hopeless. I thought I didn't have anything or anyone to help me through that tough situation. But when I began to really think about it, I see how God sent the right people and tools in my life that eventually helped me to get through that terrible chapter in my life.
When discussing today's Monday Matters with my friend, he suggested that I share on how to start over after divorce. I thought that was/is an awesome subject to share on. You may be reading this and are going through a divorce or have already been divorced. Perhaps you had a bad break-up with someone that you were with for years. I always say that break-ups are "mini-divorces." You may also be reading this and have a great marriage but perhaps you know someone going through. I pray that today's PPT helps someone.
Strange because it caused me to revisit that point and place in my life that I felt I would no longer visit. But I soon realized that sometimes we go through things so that we can be a blessing to someone else. So, here is it. Here is how I started over after divorce.
Familiar Surroundings
If at all possible, keep your life very familiar. Changing jobs or moving to the other side of town or even to a new city or state can cause serious regrets, doubt and even depression. Stay in your area of comfort until you're able and strong enough to move beyond that point.
If you have kids, you should keep things as normal as possible for them as well. They need stability even though the home they once knew is no long together. Keep them in the same schools, around the same friends, etc.
Decisions, Decisions
Apart from perhaps moving to a new place, try not to make any other major decision that you may eventually regret - i.e. major purchases, hair cut, hair color, new relationships, etc. Give yourself time to get over the initial shock and even the aftermath before making major decisions.
Support Group
Identify a stable and trustworthy support group of family, friends and even church members who will be able to help you through those tough times. You will need someone to talk to, someone to cry to, someone to pray with you, someone to make you laugh, etc.
Help Yourself
Read books, listen to material, and even practice journaling to help you sort through your emotions. Don't hold your feelings in. Cry if you have to, journal your feelings, do whatever it takes to free your heart of any bitterness, resentment or unforgiveness.
Get wise counsel. If you need a therapist, a financial advisor... whatever you need. Seek valid and reliable counsel so that you can be educated to make the wisest decision possible for you and your future.
Draw Close to God
You can do all of the above and still pull through a tough divorce. However, the best way possible to make it through anything in life no matter how tough is to draw closer to God. With God, all things are possible. He can and will take you through the fire and have you coming out of it as gold (shining and reflecting His glory).
Pray, read your Bible, make daily confessions, and determine that you can/will get overcome with God's help.
Determine to Forgive
You will never be able to experience true success after a divorce until you have truly forgiven your ex-husband.
Practice forgiveness. How? Listen to and read messages on forgiveness, believe in your heart that you have forgiven, confess that forgiveness (to God, to yourself, to your family and friends, and to your ex-husband if at all possible), then act out on that forgiveness.
Starting Over After Divorce -- Online Presentation Link
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Posted By: The SISTAHS Ministry
Friday, May 22nd 2009 at 12:28PM
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